Itthī-kaṇḍa — On Women

156. Choose a Spouse of Good Family

A wise person should choose a spouse from a good family, for such upbringing tends to instil moral conduct, diligence, and social compatibility. Even if she lacks conventional beauty, good character ensures the harmony and prosperity of the household. Conversely, a wise man may, through his own conduct and guidance, raise a woman who is beautiful but of lesser character or birth into an equal partner, uniting her to himself through shared values and mutual respect.

157. The Qualities of a Woman of Good Character Worth Choosing

This verse describes the physical and personal qualities of a suitable bride. Physical traits such as a slender waist, even teeth, and a deep navel reflect traditional standards of beauty. More important, however, are the desirable personal qualities: moral conduct, diligence, and pleasant speech. A man may take a woman who possesses these qualities even if she comes from a low family, for personal character and virtue outweigh disadvantages of birth. The verse thus emphasizes the qualities of the individual as what truly matters.

158–159. An Excellent Wife Fulfils Many Roles

She is like a nurse in times of crisis, a mother who nourishes and cares for the household, and a diligent guardian who manages affairs and preserves what has been accomplished. She is steadfast in her duties, attends gracefully to the home, and acts as a kinswoman who fosters good relations with other families. This ideal unites the roles of caretaker, manager, guardian, and envoy. A woman who so combines practical skill, steadfastness in duty, and social intelligence is rightly esteemed as excellent.

160. Do Not Slight a Husband Who Provides

A wife should not slight or scorn a husband who fulfils his role completely — who provides for the family consistently, is diligent, and furnishes both necessities and happiness. Ingratitude toward such a husband is held to be a grave fault. The verse underscores the value of reciprocity and respect in partnership. To recognize and honour the provision the husband devotes is the corresponding duty of the wife, ensuring gratitude and harmony in the home.

161. A Good Wife Does Not Provoke Her Husband's Anger

A wise wife should not provoke her husband's anger through self-serving ambition or stubbornness that undermines peace in the home. Moreover, she should honour and attend not only her husband but also his teachers and elders, showing an understanding that respect for the husband extends to respect for the sources of his knowledge and virtue. The verse sets good household life within a wider network of social and spiritual relationships, honouring the line of teachers who guide him.

162–163. A Good Wife Is Reborn in the Deva World

She is industrious and not lazy, treating those of the household with kindness and competence, and preserving harmony. She dwells happily with her husband, nurturing love and companionship, and is also a careful guardian of the wealth they have amassed together. Because she lives in accordance with her husband's righteous wishes, she is fittingly reborn among the devas called "Manāpā." The harmonious character cultivated in the home thus comes to fruition in a heavenly realm of perfect concord.

164. A Good Woman Is the Foremost Treasure and Attendant

This praise is specific and lofty. A good woman is extolled as the foremost of treasures — the most precious asset a household can possess, more valuable than any material wealth — and is also called the best of attendants, indicating an unrivalled capacity to serve husband and family with devotion, skill, and benefit. There are women of such excellent quality that their virtue, loyalty, and ability make them the highest of blessings. This verse thus praises the woman endowed with lofty virtue. (From the following verse to the end of the chapter, certain negative traits are discussed; please read them together with the scholarly note at the start of the chapter.)

165. Caution in Private Places

The verse warns the discerning man against conversing in a secluded place, out of others' sight, with a woman — even his own mother, daughter, or sister. The rhetorical question reflects a wariness toward women found in the ancient texts: that lust or deceit may arise even in relationships that seem safe. It reflects the traditional emphasis on avoiding situations that might lead to sensual temptation or scandal, supporting a strict setting of boundaries to preserve moral purity. (This principle should be understood as a precautionary caution within an ancient context, not as a judgement on the worth of women in general.)

166. (By the View of the Texts) The Swiftness of Women

According to the view of the ancient texts, women are described as swift and unpredictable as lightning, sharp and cutting as a blade, and quick and consuming as wind and fire. These images suggest changeability, a power hard to control, and an overwhelming swiftness. It is a cautionary description, urging wariness of this power and changeability. It should be read with the awareness, per the note at the start of the chapter, that this is an exaggerated generalization applicable only to some.

167. (By the View of the Texts) The Powers of Women

These are not literal figures but a symbolic way of conveying that, by the view of the texts, the various powers of women — appetite, wit, exertion, and drive — are greatly magnified, with sensual desire emphasized in particular. It portrays the powers of women as great and many-sided. It should be read together with the note at the start of the chapter, as an ancient traditional generalization rather than a universal fact.

168. (By the View of the Texts) The Insatiability of Desire

Even if a woman had eight husbands in succession, each brave and a provider of every pleasure, she might still crave a ninth, because she still feels unfulfilled. This reflects the traditional view that regards a woman's sensuality as boundless and impossible to satisfy by any number of partners or by any sensual pleasure. It is a cautionary maxim of the texts, to be read with awareness, per the note at the start of the chapter, as a generalization applicable only in some cases.

169. The Kind of Mother a Child Should Forsake

This verse sets out the traits that make a woman so blameworthy that even her own children should forsake her: quarrelsomeness, envy, looking on with craving or greed, and eating and sleeping without measure — marks of gluttony and sloth. Such a woman is deficient in the basic virtues of a mother and homemaker: peace, generosity, restraint, and self-control. The hyperbolic image of a hundred sons forsaking her underscores that these faults destroy even the most sacred of bonds. (This should be understood as a censure of specific "character traits," not a generalization about all women.)

170. (By the View of the Texts) A Fickle Mind

This describes a woman (of a certain kind) who chats with one man while her eyes stray with desire toward another, and her heart dwells on a third. For a woman of this kind, no one wins her true loyalty or love; her attention and desire are fragmented and ever-shifting. The editor himself notes that this may be true of some women but is certainly not true of all, and it should be read per the note at the start of the chapter.

171. (By the View of the Texts) The Nature of Women's Speech

According to the view of the ancient texts, the talkative nature of women (of a certain kind) and their inability to keep a secret is regarded as hard to alter, like a law of nature: it is easier to catch the wind in a net, scoop the ocean with one hand, or make a sound with a single palm than to restrain women from talking among themselves. It is a cautionary generalization of tradition, to be read with awareness, per the note at the start of the chapter.

172. (By the View of the Texts) The Difficulty of Recounting Every Fault

This verse closes the chapter with a rhetorical question, emphasizing the futility of trying to enumerate or eliminate the faults of women completely. Even a man with a thousand tongues and a hundred years of life, speaking ceaselessly with the greatest effort, could not enumerate the list of faults to the end, and his words could not destroy those faults. The editor stresses that, like the other verses at the end of this chapter, this should be understood as applicable to some, not all. Both men and women have faults according to their character, and one should not generalize.